Rivethead vs. Any Given Subculture

Rivethead vs. Raver

Raver: Hey friend, why so glum? Let's go take some E, and breakdance! I've got some happy hardcore records in my Teletubbies backpack!

Note: Of course, through everything said by the Raver, the Rivethead will generally be paying little attention, and will be trying to find something long and heavy, preferably steel, to assault the Raver with.

Rivethead: I've got a better idea. How about we go eat some sparkles. Huh? Sound like fun? No, wait better idea. How about I kick your ass?

Note: At this point, the Rivethead will invariably have found something metal to beat the Raver with, and will proceed to do so.

Rivethead vs. Metalhead

Metalhead: Metallica roolz!!!!

Note: Rivetheads will not speak directly to Metalheads, due to the general largeness of most Metalheads, but the Rivethead will start making sarcastic remarks about the Metalhead's "brozi" haircut to his Rivethead friends. The Metalhead will hear these remarks. (You'd think heavy metal concerts would actually DECREASE their hearing, but they have an uncanny ability to detect negative remarks, from as far as 200 miles away)

Metalhead: What the fuck you lookin' at, freak?!

Rivethead: (Runs)

Rivethead vs. Fake Rivethead

Fake Rivethead: I cut myself because of Marilyn Manson.

Note: Rivethead will now start to laugh uncontrollably.

Fake Rivethead: What? What's so funny?

Rivethead: Nothing. A joke I heard yesterday. Hey, see those guys over there? (Points to large group of big, angry looking, black clad men in Throbbing Gristle, Einsturzende Neubauten, and Coil T-Shirts, carrying baseball bats and smoking hash) They LOVE Marilyn Manson! Go tell them all about it!

Fake Rivethead: Thanks! I will!

Note: This is a great way to reduce the earth's population of NIN fans.

Rivethead vs. Rivethead

Rivethead 1: Skinny Puppy kicks ass.

Rivethead 2: Pfft. Skinny Puppy. That's not real industrial. Neubauten rules.

Rivethead 1: Neubauten? Bunch of crazy German's beating on shit! That's not music!

Rivethead 2: Yeah, well Skinny Puppy's a bunch of fucking computer nerds, trying to LOOK like real industrial... guys.

Rivethead 1: Damn, you're elitist!

Rivethead 2: Thanks.

Rivethead 1: Wanna start a band? I've got a Casio keyboard and my brother's fuzzbox.

Rivethead 2: Uh... yeah, what the hell.

Rivethead vs. Goth Girl

Rivethead: Ogre!

Goth Girl: Peter Murphy!

Rivethead: Ogre!

Goth Girl: Peter Murphy!

Rivethead: Ogre!

Goth Girl: Peter Murphy!

Rivethead: Wanna go have sex?

Goth Girl: Ok.

( Written By Epsilon Minus )

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