1. The Pawn Shop: yes, the pawn shop. The CD's are dirt cheap, every town DOES have one, and like any one else, a Rivethead (or somebody who bought the wrong CD) WILL indeed pawn off a CD of elite industrial to an unsuspecting hillbilly junk shop and not know it. I once found albums by: Prick, Pop Will Eat Itself, Die Krupps, Nitzer Ebb, a Cure remix album, And One, Ministry, Front-line Assembly and many others, ALL in the same store within the same three month summer period. You just gotta know when to be there!

2. Record store who specializes in reselling CD's: down here in Texas we have a chain of stores called Hastings where people are allowed to come in and resell their CD's (provided they are intact) to the store for a modest $5 or so. These places are like gold mines! I've found out-of-print Coil albums here! Please hit up these kind of stores if you have one: I've found Front-line Assembly, Christ Analogue, Die Warzau, Gary Numan, Coil, Rorschach test and many others.

3. The actual Record store's record bins: Yes, this could be tricky but sometimes mistaken orders Do happen. There was a situation the other day when I stepped into the record store. Now you see, these record store people have a habit of asking you if they could help you find what your looking for. Now if you haven’t had your brain pan flossed yet, you should already know that everything is alphabetized (duh), but this is a prime moment to screw with the clerks heads.

   Clerk: Hello, welcome to _____, may I help you find anything today?

   Me: Oh sure, do you have the new Gary Numan Tour edition of Pure in your release books yet?

   Clerk: Uh (the clerk turns red and searches the store for help, maybe a closet to hide in.) I'm not sure, is this Gary Numan related to Randy Newman?

   Me: Err, no, but he DOES sort of play a piano!

   Clerk: Is he a country singer?

   Me: (Goes Crazy, tries to contain it) HEE IS.. AN INDUSTRIA-- never mind, this might be too much for you to understand...

   Clerk: Can you give me an example of where I might have seen his before?

   Me: Yeah, no problem, did you ever see that Fear Factory Video? With all those assholes in it with bad haircuts? Well, Gary Numan was the only cool looking guy there, he kept giving that little boy dirty looks all the time? THAT'S him! (I say with a triumphant shout of joy)

   Clerk: Um.

   Me: This is IMPOSSIBLE!!! Where in this country can I find some knowledgeable sales staff?!?!

   Clerk: No really, I want to help you! how about if I look it up in the computer for you?

   Me: Yes, thank you, that would be very nice. (the clerk stops in front of a customer-use inventory computer) (sheesh, I could have done that)

   Clerk: What's his name again? Gary Newman?

   Me: No, it's nUUUUman, Lemme type that.

   Clerk: Ah, well, it says we don't have it in yet, but we could try and order it for you, how's that?

   Me: (faintly remembers trying to order a Leather strip CD many months before) no thanks, I'll just come back next month.

   Clerk: Oh look, we have THIS one! (shows me copy of The Pleasure Principal) is THIS the guy you were looking for?

   Me: Yeah (wishes I could have a credit card)

   Clerk: Looks sorta faggy to me... is this disco?

   Me: (jumps over the counter and rips the clerks head off, shits down her throat and buries her corpse among the ashes of the store, after I've burned it down of course.)

Written by: Nicholas Christopher Leur