Nic: Good morning, my son. I realize you’ve been extremely busy in the studio remixing material for your new release, “All this done again” with a few other goodies aboard, such as a trillion Starfuckers remixes and a Gary Numan cover… but I sense some disturbances in your spirit…
Trent: Indeed I have, Father, aside from the new album and watching ex-band mate Robin Finch play guitar for Gun’s N’ Rose's (snickers), my life’s been an absolute hell.
Nic: Why’s that?
Trent: Well, for instance, in the past couple of years since Filter started up, I haven’t had any male band members to make out with, namely Rich Patrick, oh how I miss his sweet lips…
Nic: uh huh…
Trent: …and everyone thinks “The Downward Spiral” was a strip album…
Nic: oh my…
Trent: …and no one really…UNDERSTANDS my feelings…
Nic: Now Trent, my boy, don’t feel so down, the world is really a beautiful place out there, you just have to dig deep enough to find it’s chocolate-y layers…now Trent, I think I've heard just about enough of this awful shit, so I want you to repent.
Trent: Could you say that again?
Nic: SHIT!!
Trent: Er...
Nic: I wasn't specifically mentioning your music, i was talking about your state of affairs. I want you to repent your sins, dammit.
Trent: Fuck no…
Nic: Don’t say Fuck, it’s bad language… repent your sins now and your fans may forgive you for “The Fragile”
Trent: Really?
Nic: Why of course, it’s the most outrageous thing you could do at this point. Your fans will love you for it.
Trent: I dunno, what if they still don’t understand me?
Nic: Theres always VH1…
Trent: I’M SORRY JESUS, FORGIVE ME!!!
Nic: No no NO! your doing it all wrong – you’re not begging “Jesus” for forgiveness, your begging forgiveness from a much higher power, gotta show the emotion in there: Try Ogre!
Trent: I’m sorry Ogre for making you remix that Marilyn Manson album, the lawyers made me do it!
Nic: MORE!!!!
Trent: I’m sorry Ogre for ripping off “Dig It”!!! I'm sorry Courtney Love for missing my chance with an easy lay, I’m sorry TVT for all my bullshit, I’m sorry Al Jourgensen and Tony Iommi for that Black Sabbath Cover, I'm sorry Peter Murphy for that wasted Pizza on that tour we did together, I'm sorry David Bowie for taking credit for “Americans”, Im sorry Amy Casendorph for getting your hopes up, your still a babe, I’m sorry Alternative Press for being so alternative, I'm sorry for ruining the “Light of Day”, I’m sorry Rob Halford for “Two”, I'm sorry Pigface for the high profile, I'm sorry Flood for ruining your career, I'm sorry for giving “Prick” an easy way out, I'm sorry for BEING a prick, I'm sorry for that stupid halo numerical system everyone thought was so fucking elite, I'm sorry INDUSTRIAL 101 for having my name littered across your site, I’ll try less next time, im sorry Pennsylvania for having grown up in a farming community and not fucking enough sheep to keep my bearings in place, I'm sorry TIME WARNER for the lawsuit, I'm sorry black people for not understanding you, I'm sorry PLAYGIRL, I still want my SUBSCRIPTION, I'm sorry for turning suburban teens onto something they should never have heard of in the first place because Test Dept. and Throbbing Gristle are NOT as mainstream as they should be, sorry Charlie, I’ll return your door in the morning, I'm sorry again Ogre And Martin Atkins, Rx wasn't MY fault, I'm sorry for making “WISH” so damn cool and never playing it correctly live, I'm sorry for being involved with the 90’s period, period; I'm sorry Coil for getting you involved, especially Peter Christopherson, I'M SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A FUCKING ROCK STAR…
Written by: Nicholas Christopher Leur