75 Signs of Over-Industrialisation



  1. Hair on your hands.
  2. Looking for hair on your hands.
  3. Finding Hair on your hands.
  4. Shaving half the hair on your hands off, and putting the rest in dreadlocks.
  5. You take your power drill back to the shop because it's out of tune.
  6. The man at the Black and Decker shop knows you like it tuned to 'D'.
  7. Your washing machine has the BPM of each cycle on a label on the front.
  8. You try to make your Hoover feed back.
  9. Your food mixer also does remixes by Luxa/Pan, Coil and KMFDM.
  10. The only German you know means 'Destroying New Buildings'.
  11. You are working on a side-project with someone.
  12. You are working on a side-project, without having a main project.
  13. You thought that the 'Main' in 12 was a pun.
  14. You are working on a side project with someone who worked on a side project with someone who worked on a side project with someone who worked on a side project with someone who was in Pigface.
  15. You go to a concert and end up enjoying the roadworks outside more.
  16. You don't even go to the concert because the roadworks sound so good.
  17. The council has placed a court order to keep you 500 meters away from roadworks.
  18. When you sing in the shower, you still use a fuzzbox.
  19. You record in the shower - the acoustics are great, and the electric shocks give you a buzz.
  20. You can't wait to be able to neurowire your personal stereo right into your head - no headphones required.
  21. You'll still wear headphones though.
  22. People can't tell if you are dancing or having a fit.
  23. You believe Nine Inch Nails have sold out.
  24. You secretly want to be Trent Reznor.
  25. The idea of being used to test experimental new technology appeals to you.
  26. You believe real instruments to be primitive.
  27. You do not quite understand what is meant by real in the above statement.
  28. You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band.
  29. When someone else "discovers" you're favorite band, you find another favorite band.
  30. You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street.
  31. You look at Satanists and smile.
  32. You know that Marily Manson are a Cock Rock band with a sampler.
  33. You know quite a number of people who actually like Marilyn Manson.
  34. You know quit a lot of people that like Marily Manson and NIN and deny both.
  35. You used to have pieces of electrical equipment tied into your dreads.
  36. You have shaved parts of your head.
  37. You shaved parts of your head because you were tied of dragging electrical equipment along with you.
  38. You have an unhealthy interest in burning things.
  39. You have the scars to prove it.
  40. You have an unhealthy interest in dangerous sex.
  41. You have the scars to prove it.
  42. You have ten albums from Wax Trax.
  43. You have one Einsturzende album.
  44. The first gig your band ever sold out started as a contract to knock a wall through.
  45. You end up listening to the bus instead of your personal stereo.
  46. You consider a band to have sold out if you find someone else likes them.
  47. Al Jourgensen is the devil. This is your central belief, and what gets you through the days.
  48. Your car alarm plays 'Jesus Built My Hotrod'.
  49. Your Car stereo plays Jesus built My Hotrod on a permanent loop.
  50. You never have to overtake anyone, they just move out the way.
  51. Off cliffs if necessary.
  52. Your first band split because everyone wanted to play lead angle-grinder.
  53. You first band split because no one wanted to play oil drums.
  54. Your music equipment weighs more than your van.
  55. Your music equipment is your van.
  56. You have a small glass of gasoline for breakfast (it doesn't get you high anymore, which is good, but you believe that it has essential nutrients).
  57. You can't hear the music when you go to a regular bar.
  58. Your noisy furnace helps you go to sleep - when you actually sleep.
  59. You go to road construction sites to relax.
  60. Looking at anything white for more than 3 seconds gives you white spots.
  61. You believe that Dogplasma Micky has sold out (who?).
  62. Your skin burns when exposed to more than 9 minutes of artificial light.
  63. Your skin burns when exposed to 4 minutes of sunlight.
  64. You cook everything till it goes crusty and black - for better presentation.
  65. Crusty black food tastes better too.
  66. You fry everything in 5W-30.
  67. You get pissed off at cars that sound shittier than yours (because they sound better than yours).
  68. You litteraly vomit when you hear popular music.
  69. 10% beer is considered "lite".
  70. yU WRitE EVERYthiNG likE thiS.
  71. YU'VE PROGRAMMEd YOUR kEYbOARd tO WRitE likE thiS WithOUt hAViNG tO CAPS ANd UN-CApS.
  72. Your parents moved out instead.
  73. Cops hesitate to look at you, let alone arrest you.
  74. The riot police hesitate to look at you, let alone touch you.
  75. You turn the alarm on your alarm clock on BEFORE going to bed.
By: Kenny Johnson, Alex & P.T.R.


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Last Modified: Monday, 24-Sep-2012 16:42:47 MST