75 Signs of Over-Industrialisation
By: Kenny Johnson,
Alex & P.T.R.
- Hair on your hands.
- Looking for hair on your hands.
- Finding Hair on your hands.
- Shaving half the hair on your hands off, and putting the rest in dreadlocks.
- You take your power drill back to the shop because it's out of tune.
- The man at the Black and Decker shop knows you like it tuned to 'D'.
- Your washing machine has the BPM of each cycle on a label on the front.
- You try to make your Hoover feed back.
- Your food mixer also does remixes by Luxa/Pan, Coil and KMFDM.
- The only German you know means 'Destroying New Buildings'.
- You are working on a side-project with someone.
- You are working on a side-project, without having a main project.
- You thought that the 'Main' in 12 was a pun.
- You are working on a side project with someone who worked on a side project with someone who worked on a side project with someone who worked on a side project with someone who was in Pigface.
- You go to a concert and end up enjoying the roadworks outside more.
- You don't even go to the concert because the roadworks sound so good.
- The council has placed a court order to keep you 500 meters away from roadworks.
- When you sing in the shower, you still use a fuzzbox.
- You record in the shower - the acoustics are great, and the electric shocks give you a buzz.
- You can't wait to be able to neurowire your personal stereo right into your head - no headphones required.
- You'll still wear headphones though.
- People can't tell if you are dancing or having a fit.
- You believe Nine Inch Nails have sold out.
- You secretly want to be Trent Reznor.
- The idea of being used to test experimental new technology appeals to you.
- You believe real instruments to be primitive.
- You do not quite understand what is meant by real in the above statement.
- You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band.
- When someone else "discovers" you're favorite band, you find another favorite band.
- You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street.
- You look at Satanists and smile.
- You know that Marily Manson are a Cock Rock band with a sampler.
- You know quite a number of people who actually like Marilyn Manson.
- You know quit a lot of people that like Marily Manson and NIN and deny both.
- You used to have pieces of electrical equipment tied into your dreads.
- You have shaved parts of your head.
- You shaved parts of your head because you were tied of dragging electrical equipment along with you.
- You have an unhealthy interest in burning things.
- You have the scars to prove it.
- You have an unhealthy interest in dangerous sex.
- You have the scars to prove it.
- You have ten albums from Wax Trax.
- You have one Einsturzende album.
- The first gig your band ever sold out started as a contract to knock a wall through.
- You end up listening to the bus instead of your personal stereo.
- You consider a band to have sold out if you find someone else likes them.
- Al Jourgensen is the devil. This is your central belief, and what gets you through the days.
- Your car alarm plays 'Jesus Built My Hotrod'.
- Your Car stereo plays Jesus built My Hotrod on a permanent loop.
- You never have to overtake anyone, they just move out the way.
- Off cliffs if necessary.
- Your first band split because everyone wanted to play lead angle-grinder.
- You first band split because no one wanted to play oil drums.
- Your music equipment weighs more than your van.
- Your music equipment is your van.
- You have a small glass of gasoline for breakfast (it doesn't get
you high anymore, which is good, but you believe that it has
- You can't hear the music when you go to a regular bar.
- Your noisy furnace helps you go to sleep - when you actually sleep.
- You go to road construction sites to relax.
- Looking at anything white for more than 3 seconds gives you white
- You believe that Dogplasma Micky has sold out (who?).
- Your skin burns when exposed to more than 9 minutes of artificial
- Your skin burns when exposed to 4 minutes of sunlight.
- You cook everything till it goes crusty and black - for better
- Crusty black food tastes better too.
- You fry everything in 5W-30.
- You get pissed off at cars that sound shittier than yours
(because they sound better than yours).
- You litteraly vomit when you hear popular music.
- 10% beer is considered "lite".
- yU WRitE EVERYthiNG likE thiS.
- YU'VE PROGRAMMEd YOUR kEYbOARd tO WRitE likE thiS WithOUt hAViNG
tO CAPS ANd UN-CApS.
- Your parents moved out instead.
- Cops hesitate to look at you, let alone arrest you.
- The riot police hesitate to look at you, let alone touch you.
- You turn the alarm on your alarm clock on BEFORE going to bed.
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Last Modified: Monday, 24-Sep-2012 16:42:47 MST