How to Become the High School Rivethead
Becoming the high school Rivethead is not as complicated as it seems,
although the amount you would have to sacrifise depends on who you were
before you decided to become uberleet: Preppie - your faggot friends (who
needs those damn bastards anyway); Punk - music (Punk is becoming mainstream
so why not give it up for a more underground genre?); goth - emotions (its
better without emotions then with them); Raver - don't even try becoming a
Rivethead, it wont work.
So here is how it works, just play by four basic rules, I wll give you a
bunch of details but you can always add your own.
Written by: email@example.com
- Industrial is the best genre of music and is superior over all.
- Machinery is what rules the world.
- Feelings, especially pain, do not exist.
- Killing the world is fun.
Now the details:
- Coming into the school yell AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! really loud
until your breath gives out.
- Make fun of the people who are different, the Preps in particular.
Threaten to kill them.
- Go up to the air conditioner in the classroom, kick it several times and
then say 'Wow, this thing is great! I can play all of my favourite songs on
- Going into the artroom spill all the black and red paint over the floor.
If you get in trouble, say you did it for the sake of art.
- Remember - you don't feel pain. Go to your next period through the 2nd
floor window. Jump off and if you manage to break a leg say something like
- If someone pisses you off, tackle them down, take a black marker, and draw
cult symbols over their face in a rage until there isnt a blank spot left.
- When someone not of your culture attempts to talk to you cut him off by
yelling 'AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!' as loud as possible into
their face. Show them how angry you are!
- If you decide to go into P.E., kick a basketball with your combat boots as
hard as possible against the wall until it pops.
- Stare at any school spirit objects for a long time, suddenly throw them
down in a rage and stomp on them.
- Bring a battery powered buzzer to school and shave the head of a person
that sits in front of you.
- Urge the staff to play 'Anti-US' by Leather Strip instead of the pledge.
- Make fun of the rappers.
- When someone drops something by accident (or not) stomp on it! He tries
to pick it up? Stomp on his hand!!
- For lunch, eat free salt they have in the lunch line.
- Find practical uses for your math classes (a 1 is good for stabbing, a 2
is more like a hooking device e.t.c.) and present them to the class for
- Hate the school and don't participate in any school activities.
- When you have to sign something, put 'signed against will' above the
- Find other Rivetheads in the skul and make a Rivethead gang!
That is all. Add your own details according to the 4 rules of Rivetheadness.
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Last Modified: Monday, 24-Sep-2012 16:42:46 MST