How to Become the High School Rivethead



Becoming the high school Rivethead is not as complicated as it seems, although the amount you would have to sacrifise depends on who you were before you decided to become uberleet: Preppie - your faggot friends (who needs those damn bastards anyway); Punk - music (Punk is becoming mainstream so why not give it up for a more underground genre?); goth - emotions (its better without emotions then with them); Raver - don't even try becoming a Rivethead, it wont work.

So here is how it works, just play by four basic rules, I wll give you a bunch of details but you can always add your own.

The rules:

  1. Industrial is the best genre of music and is superior over all.
  2. Machinery is what rules the world.
  3. Feelings, especially pain, do not exist.
  4. Killing the world is fun. Now the details:
    1. Coming into the school yell AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! really loud until your breath gives out.
    2. Make fun of the people who are different, the Preps in particular. Threaten to kill them.
    3. Go up to the air conditioner in the classroom, kick it several times and then say 'Wow, this thing is great! I can play all of my favourite songs on it!'
    4. Going into the artroom spill all the black and red paint over the floor. If you get in trouble, say you did it for the sake of art.
    5. Remember - you don't feel pain. Go to your next period through the 2nd floor window. Jump off and if you manage to break a leg say something like 'hmmmmm...pain hurts.'
    6. If someone pisses you off, tackle them down, take a black marker, and draw cult symbols over their face in a rage until there isnt a blank spot left.
    7. When someone not of your culture attempts to talk to you cut him off by yelling 'AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!' as loud as possible into their face. Show them how angry you are!
    8. If you decide to go into P.E., kick a basketball with your combat boots as hard as possible against the wall until it pops.
    9. Stare at any school spirit objects for a long time, suddenly throw them down in a rage and stomp on them.
    10. Bring a battery powered buzzer to school and shave the head of a person that sits in front of you.
    11. Urge the staff to play 'Anti-US' by Leather Strip instead of the pledge.
    12. Make fun of the rappers.
    13. When someone drops something by accident (or not) stomp on it! He tries to pick it up? Stomp on his hand!!
    14. For lunch, eat free salt they have in the lunch line.
    15. Find practical uses for your math classes (a 1 is good for stabbing, a 2 is more like a hooking device e.t.c.) and present them to the class for extra credit!
    16. Hate the school and don't participate in any school activities.
    17. When you have to sign something, put 'signed against will' above the signature.
    18. Find other Rivetheads in the skul and make a Rivethead gang! That is all. Add your own details according to the 4 rules of Rivetheadness.
Written by: restonanarchy@hotmail.com



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Last Modified: Monday, 24-Sep-2012 16:42:46 MST