Since the whole idea of Industrial Music is to convey the complete fusion between Technology and Humanity, it is imperative that the band name will reflect this. Ideally, the name should have 2 words, with the first being a prefix, usually implying a technological concept, having to do with computers or any scientific field of your choice, and the second being a word, usually implying a human concept, such as a part of the human anatomy or physiology, some biological term, or, even better, a psychiatric term. Ideally, it should also be a word reflecting something that is diseased or mutated. Human diseases are great words to be used in band names; Dog diseases are even better ( e.g., rabies, distemper, kennel cough). When in doubt, it is always good to use the title of an old Skinny Puppy song (or, better yet, an obscure passage of Skinny Puppy's lyrics) for your band name.
Finally, adding a small Germanic prefix before the band name will give you a lot of credibility. For example, just the addition of a simple 'Die,' 'Das,' or 'Der' to the band name will make many people think that you hail from Essen, in the Ruhr Valley (the most industrial part of Germany), even though you may, in fact, hail from Kansas City. Spelling in a German way is also essential (even using German words, it helps to have taken German in highschool, although we will talk more about that in the 'vocals and lyrics' section of this guide later on), especially the use of accent marks and umlauts, although, be very careful not to use too many umlauts, since this can make you look like a Swedish death metal band. The simplest way to 'Germanify' your band name is to use a lot of K's, and replace any word that normally uses a 'C' with a 'K' (e.g., Mechanic should be replaced by Mekkanik).
Here are some examples of acceptable prefixes (reflecting technology or biology): elektro-, cyber-, neural- (or neuro-), bio-, geo-, neo-, terminal, somato-, trans-, sonic, magnetic
Here are some examples of acceptable words to use after the prefixes: christ, blastoma, tumor, implant, function, capillary, psychosis, carcinoma, carcinogen, mutation, wire, hemoglobin, nerve, myopia, manipulation, renal failure, influenza, schizophrenia, diptheria, castration, starvation, ebola
As you can see, the possibilities are endless. Medical textbooks provide some valuable inspiration. If you use an obscure scientific term, others may think that you are quite learned, and, in fact, may have gone to university to obtain some sort of scientific degree, and that you can quit industrial music at any time to go work at (Bio-Tech firm of your choice), but, because of your dedication to industrial music, you have foregone this lucrative career.
Finally, you don't really have to follow the old rule of being careful not to give yourself a band name that is already taken. In fact, if you do take on a band name from an already existing industrial band, provided they are obscure enough and release their albums on a different continent from yours, people will probably think their releases are yours. If, though, word gets out that you have to change your name, then make sure that this legend is repeated ad infinitum by your fans. For example, 'His band used to be called Implant, but he had to change it to Neural Implant, because there already is a band called Implant from Belgium.' This will make your fans sound like they really know about the music scene, and will imply that your music appeals to people who listen to European industrial bands.
More important than song lyrics or vocals are the samples. Fill your tracks with them. It doesn't matter if they fit any particular pattern; the more samples the better. Use film samples. Yes, everyone has sampled 'Blade Runner', 'Hardware,' 'Jacob's Ladder' and 'Hellraiser' to death, but you have permission to use these films extensively in your sample library. Know that, in spite of the same samples having been done before, you can do them better. Sample everything, even television. If it's sampled, it will sound cool. Don't worry. Use all your favorite film quotes, the more underground the film, the better. Because, the sole purpose of using samples , contrary to popular belief, is not to illustrate an important point. Rather, the sole purpose of using samples is to show the world that you have a really cool video collection. If you can sample anything in German, especially German dubbed versions of popular underground sci-fi and horror films, then you will score some major credibility with the industrial community (and, it will further reinforce that myth of you being from Germany).
Musically speaking, you must sample nothing that sounds like it may have come from 'Dance' music. You must not use breakbeats of any kind! Many DJ's employ a 'breakbeat embargo' when compiling their playlists! No matter how cool you personally think drum'n'bass is, do not be tempted to increase your song tempo beyond the statutory 120 BPM.
Now that you have the Press Release written, you must submit it to every single industrial fanzine you have ever heard of. If you are lucky, they will want to do an interview with you. This will be your chance to shine, yet, at the same time, be quite mysterious. For example, in every interview you give, you must mention 2 very important things. Firstly, you must mention that you are currently working on a side project (even if your main project isn't yet established), and, emphasize that this side project goes beyond the boundaries of your main project, and that it is your experimental side. Be sure to drop the essential phrases, 'power noise,' and 'dark ambient' when referring to said vague side project. Even if you never work on it, or never release anything of this side project, you should always mention that you are working on it. Secondly, you should always mention that you are involved with remixes, even if you have no plans whatsoever for this. This wording has to be very careful. Rather than saying, 'I would like to have :Wumpscut: remix my work someday,' which implies mostly a wish, you should say, 'There is a possibility that :Wumpscut: will remix my work.' Technically, this is not a lie, because, although the possibility is .0000001% that you will be remixed by :Wumpscut:, the possibility still exists.
Have a gallery of these photos, preferably taken by a guy called Rudi (not necessarily the *real* Rudi, but, technically, it's not a lie) and artwork for your website. In fact, don't even think about becoming an industrial star without first making your own website, complete with Ogilvie fonts, autopsy photos, and, most important of all, a HUGE Links section, to make it look like you are friends with all the important Industrial bands.
Finally, make sure your email address has a personalized domain name, such as 'your band firstname.lastname@example.org or something similar.
As for your actual CD, it should be a full-length, if possible. Any out-takes that weren't good enough to have made it onto the full-length, should simultaneously be released on a 'limited edition EP.' Make sure to number these EP's, and, in fact, the numbers don't have to go in any logical order. The best advice, actually, is to number every one of these 'limited' EP's as number 666, and include an autograph and satanic symbol. Then, when you distribute these limited and numbered EP's to record stores, make sure that each record store only gets one copy. That way, the unsuspecting record buyer will think that he or she is the only one who has stumbled upon EP copy number 666! And, charge the same price as the full-length for this, since it is so 'rare.'
Getting back to the actual CD, itself. OK, first you will have to consider the artwork. If possible, find a guy called Dave MacKean to do the art. It won't be *the* real Dave MacKean (you can't afford him), but, you can say that your artwork was done by Dave MacKean (technically, it won't be a lie), even if it's nothing more than stick figures and flowers (call it his early primitive works).
If you must have a photo, make sure it's a gorgeous industrial chick. People will think this is your real life girlfriend (even if, as is likely, you don't have any girlfriend). There are many magazines where you can find luscious industrial babes to put on inside covers of your CD. Do not, under any circumstances, print your lyrics. It will be good to have people guessing what you are actually singing about, and they usually fill in their own lyrics anyway, depending on their perspectives.
Now, the really important part of the CD is the dedication section in the liner notes. It is not illegal to thank anyone on your CD, even if you don't personally know them. Of course, if you do thank someone, the implication is that you are a personal friend of theirs. However, if you fill your dedication section with nothing but Famous Industrial Artists, your fans will see through this. It's much better to mix them up with your real friends, neighbors, and relatives, and, even better, to call them by their first names, or make up cute little nicknames for them (or have cute quotes in parantheses after their names) to imply that you have spent quality personal time with them and they were integral in the making of your album. Mix it up, as well, with local promotors, clubs, and DJ's, so it really looks like all of these people were heavily involved with the making of this album. Here is an example of a typically correct Industrial CD liner note dedication (don't make it too long, it should ideally not exceed 4 or 5 lines worth of type):
"I would like to thank my parents (who bought all my equipment), Sergio at Blockbuster (thanks for turning me onto John Carpenter), Joe at the Asylum, everyone at Dildo Production Company, DJ Nekrosis and the Death Scene crew, Cevin, Claus 'The Great Dane' Larsen, Rudi 'Have a Bratwurst On Me' R., Covenant (who were very drunk at the time), Evils Toy, Alfred at Celtic Circle, VAC, and my Bavarian fanclub (Tchuss!)."
Make sure this all sounds sincere. No joke thank-you's like thanking Fred Flinstone or Karl Marx (that's best left to indie bands). Though, if you really have to thank some public figure, make sure that it's a particularly well known serial killer.
It should go without saying that creating song titles and the CD title will utilize the same formula as you used for creating your band name. Since this is your debut CD, you are not advised to do any cover versions. Wait until you have learned to sing (and put it on that long awaited future CD in which you will actually sing). It's advised to do a cover of any song from the 80's, and say that artist that you cover was your initial reason for wanting to make music in the first place.
Before having released this debut CD, you should have appeared on at least 3 compilations, even if they are obscure Lithuania-only releases. Definitely mention these compilation appearances somewhere in your CD press release.
If you do perform live, under no circumstances should you consider performing any part of your show other than the vocals (because everything will be on DAT). You will, however, need the services of several friends who preferably look the part to stand on stage behind some equipment and pretend to play. In order to divert the audience's attention to the fact that you really can't sing anyway, be sure to have visuals, even if it's just playing a video copy of The Matrix in a continuous loop. If you aren't able to find the equipment to project this onto a large screen behind you onstage, you can use several portable televisions (you can make some wooden frames to mount these in, and be sure to paint these frames in either black or camouflage colours). If you can't afford any pyros, simply make sure the club's fog machine is put on full for the duration of your set and wave either sparklers or glow sticks around (make sure of the fire codes of the building, and, even better, violate them all, thus ensuring you will be banned from the venue. This not only adds to your mystique, but removes the need to return to this venue in the future).